Happy 2

Happy 2 Years to Our Little Rainbow 🌈

A letter to you on your 2nd birthday
Rather than my standard recap, I'd like to dedicate this post to our little Benjamin Apollo. May this be a forever reminder of all the love, the hope and the wishes we have for you today on your 2nd birthday and everyday beyond...

Dear Ben,

On this day 2 years ago, December 30th, 2017 you burst into this world like no other. I can confirm that your dad and I were a bundle of nerves up until you arrived. You see, it wasn't an easy journey to get to you. I'm sure you'll hear us mention it from time to time. How you had an angel brother who passed just a year before your birth, how mama had a rough time with losses and weird medical scares. I'm sure you'll hear the word "miracle" be used more than once when referring to you and what you mean to us. I'm sure you'll hear all of the above, many times over.

But I'm writing it once again because no matter how many times we tell you, it won't be enough to explain just how much you mean to us. You truly are the rainbow, the light after our darkest storms. You're the smile that helps ease all the tears of before. You are my heart, through and through my little love.

I still remember all the nerves leading up to your arrival. How we got to the hospital and were almost sent home because the operating room for your C-section was on hold! There's a pair of twins somewhere here in the Bay Area that share a birthday with you, but are about 2 hours older
, lol. I remember the team of doctors rushing in around 3:45pm and telling me after about 7 hours of waiting in a pre-op room just waiting and watching HGTV that it was finally go time. I remember actually walking into the OR room because it was my last walk as a pregnant mama. Then I remember the flurry of activity leading up to your birth. The doctors joking about what my first meal would be after you weren't in my tummy (spoiler alert: it was sushi). Then I remember everyone getting serious and telling me that this was it. I held my breath... This has been the longest and most crazy journey to this point and all I wanted... all I needed.... was to hear YOU. I needed to hear your little voice and cry and would know that you were okay. After some tense moments, your dad and I finally heard "He's here!" then in what seemed like forever I waited... then you finally screamed (with joy?) that you were out. You sounded like Donald Duck. No joke, like a screechy little duck and it was the most amazing sound in the world. I remember your dad crying. Yes, he had tears streaming down his face and then they brought you over....
They say your world instantly changes when you meet your child for the first time. Was that right? Yes, 100% yes. I was all sorts of in la la land due to the anesthesia, but the moment they brought you over and laid you down on me... My heart was yours. And for a second you stopped crying long enough for me to notice your jagged little fingernails (lol) and how incredible amazing it was to finally meet the little babe who spent a good part of 3 months kicking my organs. You were perfect and you were my little miracle.

I won't bore you with the rest of how the next few days, week, etc went. I'm sure we'll tell you about how dad transformed into super dad overnight because mama was still hearing from her surgery. I'm sure we'll tell you of the projectile vomit you landed on dada and how we hilariously couldn't believe it was true. We'll tell you how good you actually were and didn't seem to keep us up too much at night. You literally melded perfectly into our world and completed it.

That first year with you was filled with so many incredible moments. From so many "firsts", numerous Disneyland visits, Hawaii and more. You made year 1 so memorable.

Year 2 was just as amazing, if not more? I put a question mark because the first year is always supposed to be this amazing experience of learning and more... but year 2? I don't know what it is/was... but just when I didn't think my heart could grow more, be filled with more love and magic... you'd go and do something to break all the previous records.
You leapt into toddlerhood with so much energy and joy. Watching you figure out how to waddle walk until the day it just "clicked" and you needed up sprinting all around the house... Or when you finally started to truly understand things around you. Like watching you interact with characters at Disneyland or watching you wave to the trains that streamed by. Or how your favorite word of 2019 was "cars" and how your little face would light up each time we were in a parking lot. More recently, as I type this... you've made my heart soar with the little way you now say "mama". Like how when I leave a room and you let out a little "mama?" just to check to make sure I'm still there....

Ben, you are the world's most amazing miracle child/rainbow baby/kiddo this mama could ever ask for. Year two has shown me that the love I have for you is beyond endless. I know not everyday has been a cake walk... you've definitely learned how to be mischievous and a little rebellious a the same time. But your smile, your warmth and your love has made my heart grow a million times over.

Right now you're actually just waking up from your nap and watching me type this and curious as ever. I've just explained to you that I'm writing a letter for you and you just giggled. I love you my little love....

I'll wrap this up now not because I ran out of things to say, but because I could probably go on and on explaining the reasons as to why you are such an incredible kid. I'll leave you with this...

Thank you for letting me be your mama, thank you for your smiles, your tiny koala hugs, thank you for teaching me the true meaning of patience... also for teaching me how to unscrew all that crazy battery operated toys we have for you. Just an all around thank you. Thank you for being our miracle, thank you for being my light at the end of a dark tunnel, thank you for being my baby boy.

Benjamin Apollo, Happy 2nd Birthday... I love you (to infinity and beyond)

Love always and forever,
Mama



No comments