Our PB&J Adventure Book

We can't believe that it's already been two months being parents to our little Benjamin. We couldn't be more thankful for each and every day we've been blessed having him here with us. He's truly completed our family happily ever after!

Time is literally flying by! So much so that this blog entry was originally supposed to be a one month parenting update, lol! I guess you can say that the #newparentlife truly took over. Well, it's better late than never, so let's dive into our adventures in parenting these past two months!


Month One

The first month of being newly minted parents to a newborn were definitely an "adventure" to say the least. Each week brought a new discovery, challenge, and joy. The moment Ben entered the world, our lives instantly changed forever. Both PB and I had read the baby books, multiple ones at that, to best prepare ourselves for becoming new parents. Let me tell you, no book can ever prepare you for becoming a parent. Within the first few hours of Ben's birth, we were already navigating the waters of parentdom! Let me give you an example, after our families had left the first night Ben was born and it was literally just the three of us, we were so cautious (and clueless) that we didn't know that we could just let Ben sleep on his own in his bassinet. We concocted this "brilliant" solution, we'd each hold onto Ben for an hour, while the other slept.... GENIUS, right?! HAHA, no.... Our amazing nurse finally came into our room halfway through the night and mentioned "you know you BOTH can sleep while he's snuggled away next to you in his bassinet". A resounding "OHhhhhh" from PB&J. First parenting obstacle and lesson learned! It's hilarious to look back on now, but not so much at the time, haha.

Since I had a C-section birth, we stayed for about 5 days at the hospital to make sure I was healing okay after the surgery. We loved our care team at the hospital. It was so nice to have round the clock care for both me and Ben. All that hospital help definitely proved for a little bit of a learning curve when we finally came home. I can say that recovering from major surgery, having a newborn and adjusting to life back home proved to have some initial challenges. The first night home we experienced an earthquake which definitely rattled all of our nerves. The next few nights, Ben seemed to be adjusting to his digs by showcasing his best "night owl" impressions.


Expectations vs. Reality
The next few weeks were filled with finding our footing as new parents. We were learning how to balance our lives to having this little ball of everything (aka Ben) and I will admit, it was overwhelming at times. We went from becoming new parents, a surgery recovery for me, transitioning to home and all the while running on a few hours of sleep. I had this whole "dreamy" motherhood scenario that I built up for myself but reality sunk in and the expectations I had for motherhood weren't happening. It started with my medical scare and stress the weeks prior to Ben's birth (read about that HERE) and having to forgo the natural labor/birth that I envisioned due to said medical issues for a c-section. After birth, a combination of adjusting to our new life with Ben and physical recovery hit me harder emotionally, not to mention physically, on a deeper level than I thought it would.

There is so much pressure to being a mom, especially a first time mom. There are so many things you're told to do (breastfeed, be a supermommy from the get go, things will just "click") that I found myself feeling so discouraged when mommyhood wasn't going according to that ideal plan. My recovery from the c-section was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I would hear stories of women "bouncing back" right after their birth and mine was slower than expected. I could barely walk due to the pain, I wasn't able to lift anything, not even little Ben. I couldn't bend over to reach for simple items like diapers or to put on my own socks. It crushed me to not be able to do the simple things and miss out on changing Ben's first diapers and having the freedom to just be able to pick him up on my own when he started to cry. On top of that, we ran into big issues with breastfeeding. Poor Ben wasn't gaining enough weight which we later found to be due to a low milk supply. It felt like in those first few weeks I kept taking a stride forward, then two steps back on some days.

Being a new mom is full of expectations and when you feel like you aren't living up to them, it sends you through a loop. What made things even more complicated for me was the fact that we prayed, wished and hoped for our little miracle and he was finally with us... but then I was feeling so down at times. You read about the "baby blues" post birth and let me tell you, its a real thing. If it hits you, it can be as little as being overly emotional, to hitting even harder and feeling incredibly off. Thankfully my support network was there ten-fold to help me wade through all of the emotions I was feeling. My amazing family, especially PB provided endless support. Our medical team was also incredible and together with my family I was able to find my way back to where I needed to be physically and emotionally!

Multitasking and not always looking the most magical, but being the best mommy I can be to my loves!

We consulted with Ben's pediatrician about his weight issues, along with several lactation consultants to help with my breastfeeding issues which resulted in a unanimous agreement: Keep Ben healthy, FED IS BEST! I was so stressed out about not knowing if my little one was getting enough to eat and plain and simple, he wasn't. I ended up having to stop breastfeeding due to many physical issues (7 lactation nurses tried everything!) and move to a mix of both pumping whatever milk I could produce, then supplementing with formula when needed. I know this will be controversial for some, but my body just wasn't doing what it needed to do.  Mixed feeding was never in my "ideal mommy plan" but it's just another testament to reality not always going according to how you think it will go. On the bright side? Ben is healthy and eating, he's still getting the benefit of my milk even if it's in smaller amounts. Once it was agreed that I'd stop breast-feeding and just pump, I instantly felt so much better. And the best part?! PB can actually help with some of the feedings! On another note, once I started sharing my feeding issues with my loved ones, I started to find out that so many others had issues breastfeeding as well. We're always told "Breast is Best" as you enter pregnancy and new motherhood, but I've quickly learned that "FED IS BEST". So to any other mama's out there having a hard time when it comes to this issue, you're not alone! Do what you need to keep your baby healthy, happy and yourself healthy and happy!

I was able to drop the initial expectations I originally had on becoming a mommy and it made life so much easier. My support network helped me realize that I was Ben's mom and I would know 100% what was best for my own son. Once I accepted that fact, it felt like a cloud was lifted over my head. Day by day things got a little easier and I'm happy to say that it's been positive ever since! Being a new mom means brings so many new emotions into your life. As hard as I was on myself during the first few weeks the one thing that always made things a little easier was gazing down into this little guy's eyes. The struggles, the stress,  the emotions, the tiredness... was all worth it in the end for this guy!

Continuing the tradition of weekly photos, but this time in "Mommy and Me" form! This was also a way for me to give myself a little pick me up each week. Getting a little dolled up and capturing a moment with my son was a way to make my day a little brighter.

Words of parenthood wisdom
The first month of parenthood proved to be a doozy. What helped was the endless encouragement from loved ones, friends, family, and everyone in between. There were two sayings that helped us the most though getting through the first month. First was this:

This was literally the #1 piece of advice we were told and we can't agree more. It felt like month one was an initiation into parenthood. Every single limit of your being tested in those first few weeks of being a new parent. There's no manual on what to do with a newborn, you literally have to figure it out on your own because every baby and parenting experience is so unique.

Another phrase that I found especially uplifting was this simple saying:

It's so simple, yet so positive. And it's honestly the exact words of encouragement that a sleep deprived and struggling mama needs to hear whenever she starts doubt herself. So to any other mom's out there reading this and needs a little pick me up, YOU ARE AMAZING and YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

We made it through the first month!

Month Two
Thankfully, once we reached the one month mark and beyond our little PB&J family started to find it's groove! The post baby blues/funk I was in for a chunk of time after Ben was born finally resolved and I've been able to find myself and my balance as a mommy to a newborn. There are still the off days where there will be struggles, but hey thats the #momlife right? Overall the overwhelming feeling and the pressures to be the "perfect" mommy are gone and I've accepted the fact that I may not be that poster of mommy perfection, but I'm the best mommy for my own son and nothing will change that!

When it comes to our little Ben, he's been great in helping us figure out a schedule that keeps us all happy and most importantly rested! While in month one his sleep schedule was all over the place, he just began to sleep for longer periods at a time at night. Some nights we're able to get a good 4 hour chunk of sleep in between feedings and diaper changes! He's also been so much more active and alert during the day. It's been amazing to watch him explore his surroundings and get stronger each day with his tummy play time. He's also starting to smile more and be more interactive with us. It's been the highlights of our day when he shows off his little (big) personality.


We're also getting a ton of quality family time in while PB is still on paternity leave. It's been so amazing to have PB home with us these past two months. His work schedule at Apple is all sorts of crazy, so you can definitely say that we're all super thankful to be able to really enjoy these little family moments together.

Looking ahead
Now that we've officially made it two months in, what next?! Adventure! The past 60 days or so we've been in what can only be described as "baby quarantine". Ben's pediatrician is the absolute best, so when he advised us to keep Ben away from crowds/public places for 60 days due to the horrible cold and flu season. We followed his orders and for the most part have kept Ben away from public spaces. Does that mean we've been holed up at home these past 60 days? By no means at all, we have taken advantage of the sunny days and have gone for walks all together as a family, we've made treks to a variety of places, mainly parking lots (LOL) what?! To relive cabin fever, we'll all hop in the car and drive around since Ben LOVES motion. PB is then able to hop out and run errands while Ben and I stay in the car! We did cave and finally (with extra, extra caution) take Ben out for his first official outing on Valentine's Day. We grabbed lunch and went for a little stroll here in our downtown area. We have yet to venture out to more public spaces ex. our favorite Target, so you better believe once Ben's cleared at his 2 month appointment that will be the first spot we visit! #BensFirstTargetRun

Looking back
Parenthood has proven to be the single most challenging, yet rewarding thing both PB and I have ever taken on. Nothing could have prepared us for life with our Benjamin. There have been days where we've been overjoyed, tired, overwhelmed, tired, but overall at the end of each day (or 3am feeding) there's been unconditional love for our blessing. 🌈

Stay tuned for even more PB&J family adventures in parenting and beyond! Thank you for reading along with us! 💜